As A Counsellor, I Am Fortunate (?) To Experience A Varied Gamut Of Human Relationships Through The Cases That Come To Me For Therapy.one Such Case Was That Of A Young Adolescent Boy, Who Was Referred To Me For Academics, As Well As Behavioural Issues. On Meeting The Boy, He Seemed Compliant Enough For The Questions And Answered Them Willingly, But I Could Sense Intense Rage Within Him. On Probing, I Found That His Primary Anger Was Directed Against His Mother. Reason? She Insults Him In Front Of His Uncle And The Servant! The Mother Looked Surprised That This Was A Topic Of Dissent With The Boy. Her Logic Was That If He Is Scolded In Front Of Someone Else, Then He Would Learn To Behave Better. When I Asked Her What Her Expectations Were She Had Only One Thing To Say: I Want Him To Respect Elders.i Found Her Need To Be Very Amusing… Considering She Was Using Humiliation As A Tool To Discipline Her Son.everybody Has This Need In Them To Be Respected, Whether Young Or Old. How Could The Mother Expect The Child To Develop A Sense Of Respect And Reverence, When Everytime She Would Deride And Belittle Him Not Only In The Privacy Of Their Home But Also In Public? It Is, According To Me, The Lowest Form Of Disciplining Tactics, Which Would Have The Person At The Receiving End Seething Inside With Humiliation. I Remember, When I Was Working In A Publication Firm, We Would Have This Monthly Meetings, Which Were Called “hall Of Shame”. The Names Of All Those Editors Who Had Not Met Their Targets Would Be Written On The Board, And They Would Be Asked For Detailed Feedbacks And Explanations. This Could Also Be Done In The Cabins Of The Senior Professionals, But I Think They All Got A Perverse Pleasure, Seeing Them Squirm In Front Of An Audience. What Irreparable Damage Was Being Done To The Psyche Of The Person, I Dread To Think. A Personal Memo Calling The Person Filthy Names Is So Much Better Than This Public Flogging. Coming Back To The Case, When I Started Handling The Issues With The Mother, I Could Understand Where She Was Coming From. She Was A Perfectionist, And Theirs Was The Most Passive Marriage I Have Ever Seen! When Asked If She Expected Others To Respect Her As A Person And Her Opinions, She Wanted To Know What I Was Talking About! For The Husband, She Was Just A Wife; One Who Took Care Of His Physical And Biological Needs. He Could Not Describe The Person That She Was: Her Identity Was That She Was His Wife. She Was Labelled A Bad Mother Because Her Son Did Not Behave ‘properly’. So To Get Social Approval She Was Being Punitive With The Son. Her Life Revolved On Social Approvals. She Could No Longer Establish Her Own Identity, And Establishing The Importance Of Being Herself Became The Focus Of Counselling. She Was Gradually Able To Understand That You Do Not Demand Respect; You Command It. And You Can Only Teach How To Respect If You Practise It. The Point Took A While To Sink In; But When She Was Able To Withdraw From The Controlling Relationship, And Also Refused To Take Responsibility For Her Son’s Misbehaviour, And Refuse To Accept The Label Of Being A ‘bad Mother’ Simply Because He Misbehaved, Things Started Turning Around. When People Around Realised That She Was Not Accepting The Blame For His Behaviour, They Started Handling The Boy Differently; And He Too, In Subsequent Sessions Was Able To Understand The Scenario. Sessions Are Still On; The Husband Continues To Be Passive, Though He Is Beginning To Think There Is More To A Marriage Than Just Staying Together, And Is Slowly Willing To Enrich The Relationship.it Is Not ‘all Is Well’ As Yet…. But I Hope It Would Be.mohana Narayanan

108 Names Of Shiva And Their Meanings Name Meaning Aashutosh One Who Fulfills Wishes Instantly Aja Unborn Akshayaguna God With Limitless Attributes Anagha Without Any Fault Anantadrishti Of Infinite Vision Augadh One Who Revels All The Time Avyayaprabhu Imperishable Lord Bhairav Lord Of Terror Bhalanetra One Who Has An Eye In The Forehead Bholenath Kind Hearted Lord Bhooteshwara Lord Of Ghosts And Evil Beings Bhudeva Lord Of The Earth Bhutapala Protector Of The Ghosts Chandrapal Master Of The Moon Chandraprakash One Who Has Moon As A Crest Dayalu Compassionate Devadeva Lord Of The Lords Dhanadeepa Lord Of Wealth Dhyanadeep Icon Of Meditation And Concentration Dhyutidhara Lord Of Brilliance Digambara Ascetic Without Any Clothes Durjaneeya Difficult To Be Known Durjaya Unvanquished Gangadhara Lord Of River Ganga Girijapati Consort Of Girija Gunagrahin Acceptor Of Gunas Gurudeva Master Of All Hara Remover Of Sins Jagadisha Master Of The Universe Jaradhishamana Redeemer From Afflictions Jatin One Who Has Matted Hair Kailas One Who Bestows Peace Kailashadhipati Lord Of Mount Kailash Kailashnath Master Of Mount Kailash Kamalakshana Lotus-eyed Lord Kantha Ever-radiant Kapalin One Wears A Necklace Of Skulls Khatvangin One Who Has The Missile Khatvangin In His Hand Kundalin One Who Wears Earrings Lalataksha One Who Has An Eye In The Forehead Lingadhyaksha Lord Of The Lingas Lingaraja Lord Of The Lingas Lokankara Creator Of The Three Worlds Lokapal One Who Takes Care Of The World Mahabuddhi Extremely Intelligent Mahadeva Greatest God Mahakala Lord Of All Times Mahamaya Of Great Illusions Mahamrityunjaya Great Victor Of Death Mahanidhi Great Storehouse Mahashaktimaya One Who Has Boundless Energies Mahayogi Greatest Of All Gods Mahesha Supreme Lord Maheshwara Lord Of Gods Nagabhushana One Who Has Serpents As Ornaments Nataraja King Of The Art Of Dancing Nilakantha Blue Necked Lord Nityasundara Ever Beautiful Nrityapriya Lover Of Dance Omkara Creator Of Om Palanhaar One Who Protects Everyone Parameshwara First Among All Gods Paramjyoti Greatest Splendour Pashupati Lord Of All Living Beings Pinakin One Who Has A Bow In His Hand Pranava Originator Of The Syllable Of Om Priyabhakta Favourite Of The Devotees Priyadarshana Of Loving Vision Pushkara One Who Gives Nourishment Pushpalochana One Who Has Eyes Like Flowers Ravilochana Having Sun As The Eye Rudra The Terrible Rudraksha One Who Has Eyes Like Rudra Sadashiva Eternal God Sanatana Eternal Lord Sarvacharya Preceptor Of All Sarvashiva Always Pure Sarvatapana Scorcher Of All Sarvayoni Source Of Everything Sarveshwara Lord Of All Gods Shambhu One Who Bestows Prosperity Shankara One Who Gives Happiness Shiva Always Pure Shoolin One Who Has A Trident Shrikantha Of Glorious Neck Shrutiprakasha Illuminator Of The Vedas Shuddhavigraha One Who Has A Pure Body Skandaguru Preceptor Of Skanda Someshwara Lord Of All Gods Sukhada Bestower Of Happiness Suprita Well Pleased Suragana Having Gods As Attendants Sureshwara Lord Of All Gods Swayambhu Self-manifested Tejaswani One Who Spreads Illumination Trilochana Three-eyed Lord Trilokpati Master Of All The Three Worlds Tripurari Enemy Of Tripura Trishoolin One Who Has A Trident In His Hands Umapati Consort Of Uma Vachaspati Lord Of Speech Vajrahasta One Who Has A Thunderbolt In His Hands Varada Granter Of Boons Vedakarta Originator Of The Vedas Veerabhadra Supreme Lord Of The Nether World Vishalaksha Wide-eyed Lord Vishveshwara Lord Of The Universe Vrishavahana One Who Has Bull As His Vehicle Please Share---- S.s.venkateshwar Andaman And Nicobar Islands

Mamma...mia.!!!! Since Times Immemorial Breasts Have Always Held The Fascination Of Mankind Irrespective Of The Age. And The Fact Is Just As True Today As It Was Many Years Ago. But The Only Thing That Has Changed Is The Fact That Women Themselves Also Are Starting To Take Notice Of Them. So Let Us Examine And Learn A Few Things About Breast Augmentation Or As It Is Fondly Called " A Boob Job!" Who Undergoes A Breast Augmentation….?. Is It The Celebrities Or Routine People?? What Drives Them To Get The Operation? Do They Understand The Risks Involved And About The Procedure??? For The First Question The Answer Is No! It Is Not Only The Celebrities, But Routine People, The Housewife, The Teacher, The Software Engineer, The Doctor… People From All Walks Of Life Who Undergo The Procedure. What Drives Them To Get The Procedure Done?? Well A Few Have Pathological Problems In The Chest Area And Hence Have To Go In For An Augmentation. But, Majority Of The Women Undergo The Procedure Because Either The Volume Was Less To Start Off With Or Decreased With Age And Multiple Pregnancies Or Sudden Weight Loss. What Drives Them Is The Fact That Breasts Are A Sign Of Femininity And These Women Feel That The Decreased Volume Of The Breasts Affects The Way They See Themselves. First Of All Let Us Understand Some Facts Regarding Breasts : 1. Breast Size Is Variable In People And There Is No Fixed Size Which Is The Norm. Several Deciding Factors Like The Amount Of Breast Tissue, Heredity, How Fat The Person Is And The Fact That Whether The Person Has Been Pregnant Before All Contribute To Breast Size. And Of Course Age Is A Contributing Factor As Always 2.there Is Nothing Like A Perfect Breasts.usually Perky Breasts Without A Sag And Nipples Pointing Forwards And A Little Laterally Are Acceptable As The Norm But They Vary With The Size. Small Perky Breasts Look Good If The Person Is Thin But Not On A Well Built Female. So Its All About Proportion. 3. 99.9% Women Have Asymmetrical Breasts The Left Usually Being Larger Than The Right. The Nipples May Be Erect, Flat, Inverted, The Areola May Be Large Or Small, With Or Without Few Hairs Growing Long, Or The Areola May Be Bumpy All Of Which Are Normal. Regarding Understanding The Procedure And The Risks Involved, I’m Sad To Say That Though Most Of The Patients Are Educated Women, Hardly 10% Of Them Really Know About The Procedure And The Risks Involved. Broadly There Are Two Categories Of Women Undergoing The Procedure. The First Category Or Age Group Is The Young Women Who Are In Their 20's Who Want To Increase Their Bust Size Because They Have Underdeveloped Breasts. The Second Category Or Age Group Of Patients Are Those In Their 30's Who Are Usually Mother's Who Have Finished With Their Families And Now Have Their Children Off To School And Have Done With Their Responsibilities And Want To Get Back Into Shape And Feel They Way They Used To Maybe 10 Years And Two Children Back. This Section Of Patients Has Seen A Steady Increase And I'm Sure We Are Going To See More Of Them. But In This Group Many A Times They Might Require Certain Ancillary Procedure Along With A Breast Augmentation Which Is Usually A Breast Lift Or A Areola Reduction Or The Such. Breast Augmentation Surgery Was First Performed In 1962 By A Texas Plastic Surgeon Who Used Silicone Breast Implants To Enhance The Size Of A Woman’s Breasts. 1997 Hbo Film "breastmen" Starring David Schwimmer And Chris Cooper Shows A Cinematic Representation Of The Introduction Of The Concept Of The Breast Implant To Increase Breast Sizes And The Early Days Of Breast Augmentation Surgery And Its Pitfalls. Breast Augmentation Surgery Has Come A Long Way Since Then With Lots Of Advancements In The Type Of Implants And Techniques, Though The Basic Methods Remain The Same. A Common Fear Amongst Women Is The Fear Of Cancer With Implants. This Is Totally Unfounded As Per Research Done By Various Medical Fraternities. Recently Even In The Us, The Fda Has Cleared The Use Of Silicone Gel Implants. Otherwise, Silicone Gel Implants Are Used Widely All Over Europe, South America, And Asia, Though Saline Implants Are Also Equally In Vogue Though More In North America.. Implants Are Commonly Filled With Saline Or Silicone Gel. Both Implant Types Have Advantages And Disadvantages. The Saline Implants Are Silicon Bags Into Which Saline Is Injected To Fill It Up. The Advantage Of This Is That Smaller Incisions To Place The Implant Can Be Used And The Sizes Can Be Increased Or Decreased In Case Of Volumetric Discrepancies Between The Right And The Left Breasts. But The Disadvantage Is That Some Of The Saline May Leak Over A Period Of Many Years And The Implant May Have To Be Replaced. The Silicone Gel Implants Are Permanent As They Do No Deflate. But They Require A Larger Incision Size. They Have A Natural Feel And The New Highly Cohesive Gel Implants Do Not Leak Even If They Are Punctured Or Cut. The Choice Of The Implant Is Usually Left To The Patient. The Implant Can Be Inserted In Three Ways Either Through The Armpit Or Through A Cut Below The Breast Or Through A Cut Around The Nipple/areola. The Approach Is Determined By The Size Of The Implant And The Individual Patient. Recently The So Called “scar Less Breast Augmentation” Has Been In Demand Also Known As The “tuba” Here A Saline Filled Implant Is Inserted Through The Belly Button And Hence The Scar Is Hidden Giving It The Name Scar Less. The Implant Can Either Be Placed In Front Of The Muscle Of The Chest Wall, “sub Glandular” Or Behind The Muscle, “sub Muscular”. Placement Of The Breast Implant Under (behind) The Pectoralis Muscle Is Preferred In Women With Anatomically Less Breast Tissue Since The Results Are More Aesthetic. Placement Behind The Muscle Does Not Stop You From Using Those Muscles, Though Body Builders And Weight Lifters Tend To Prefer Placement Over The Muscle. Placement Under The Muscle Allows For A More Natural Look And Feel Than Placement Over The Muscle. Also, The Incidence Of Capsular Contracture Is Decreased With This Placement. Placement Behind The Muscle Allows Easier Breast Self-examination And Improved Images With Mammography When Compared To Placement In Front Of The Muscle, All This Because It Is Far Away From The Normal Breast Tissue. The Common Problems After A Breast Augmentation Surgery Are Mild Pain And Discomfort After The Procedure. This Is A Little More In The Sub Muscular Placement Of The Implant. Scar Maybe A Problem If You Have An Incision Below The Breast Which Will Be Seen In The Initially But Fades Over A Period Of Time. You Might Be Required To Do Some Regular Massages For The Next 6 Months Which Your Surgeon Will Explain After The Surgery. The Most Common Cause Of Dissatisfaction Amongst Women Undergoing The Procedure Worldwide Has Been The Size Of The Implant With Most Women Feeling That They Should Have Gone In For A Bigger Implant. The Cause For This Is That Initially Because Of The Swelling The Size Looks More And As The Swelling Settles Down The Size Feels A Little Smaller . But The Size Has To Be Determined By The Amount Of Tissue She Has, The Incision , The Type Of Implant. In The End One Has To Realize That The Final Decisions Are Taken After A Proper Consultation And Examination. Also The Fact That, All Surgeries Have Their Associated Risks And Complications, Which Every Surgeon Operating On You Will Surely Address. This Article Was Aimed At Educating Women About The Procedure Of Breast Augmentation, Allay Few Fears And Misconceptions And To Help Them Make Educated Decisions Regarding The Same. Dr.surindher Www.cosmesisindia.com #note: This Article Is The Sole Property Of Cosmesisindia.com And Dr.surindher. No Part May Be Reproduced In Complete Or In Part Without Permission From Dr.surindher.