Anger Management
Posted by on Sunday, 25th April 2010
Anger Management
People get angry for many reasons. Feeling hurt, guilty, insecure, powerless or betrayed are just few of the underlying causes of anger. While anger may be a natural and healthy response to a given situation, holding on to it is not. It can lead to host of psychological and physical ailments, not the least of which is depression.
Anger is a powerful emotion and serves as a mask of other feelings, feelings that you would rather not examine and acknowledge. Thoughts such as inferiority or depression are less likely to surface when you are angry.
Anger may offer you a sense of identity. You need to have something to believe in, something to stand up for. Anger gives you something to feel and generates a passion for something. acy, guilt
You may believe that you need anger and a feeling of being fed up to give you impetus to take action and make changes in your life. You want to generate enough pain in order to motivate to make a change in your life.
It is the only way you believe people will listen to you or respect you. If you do not get angry, others may think that you don’t really care enough or not really serious. Examine whether your anger masks other feelings.
Anger finds it root in fear. It is impossible to be angry without first being afraid. Investigate the source of your fear. Look at it and examine it objectively. Awareness is a powerful weapon.
Once you understand the reason for anger, it loosens its grip on you.
Passion, strength and conviction are admirable qualities indeed. Channel the fire and intensity of your anger intelligently so that people respect you don’t fear you. Harsh, blustery words are not the only way to get people listen – infact every one knows bullies are coward at heart.
Show that you are in control of your actions, and cognizant of their effects. Identify with strength, passion, and courage not with anger. Learn the difference between aggressiveness and assertiveness. Learn what has made the world leaders so great and study the qualities of the people around you whom you admire most
Relaxation
Breathe deeply, from your diaphragm; breathing from your chest will not relax you. Picture your breath coming up from your "gut."
Slowly repeat a calm word or phrase such as "relax," "take it easy." Repeat it to yourself while breathing deeply.
Use imagery; visualize a relaxing experience, from either your memory or your imagination. Learn to use them automatically when you are in a tense situation.
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Assertiveness
Posted by on Wednesday, 21st April 2010
Assertiveness
Posted on April21, 2010
Assertiveness is the process of expressing thoughts and feelings while asking for one wants in a appropriate way without jeopardizing the rights and respects of others. Assertive communication is appropriately direct, open and honest, and clarifies one’s needs to the other person. Assertiveness is a trait & is linked to self-esteem and considered an important communication skill. As a communication style and strategy, assertiveness is distinguished from aggression and passivity. How people deal with personal boundaries; their own and those of other people, helps to distinguish between these three concepts.
Passive communicators do not defend their own personal boundaries and thus allow aggressive people to abuse or manipulate them. They are also typically not likely to risk trying to influence anyone else. Aggressive people do not respect the personal boundaries of others and thus are liable to harm others while trying to influence them. A person communicates assertively by not being afraid to speak his or her mind or trying to influence others, but doing so in a way that respects the personal boundaries of others. They are also willing to defend themselves against aggressive incursions.
The key difference between aggressiveness with assertiveness is that individuals behaving assertively will express themselves in ways that respect the other person. They assume the best about people, respect themselves, and think “win-win” and try to compromise. In contrast, individuals behaving aggressively will tend to employ tactics that are disrespectful, manipulative, demeaning, or abusive. They make negative assumptions about the motives of others and think in retaliatory terms, or they don’t think of the other person’s point of view at all. They win at the expense of others, and create unnecessary conflict. In a study subjects, were selected for testing, which included the Maudsley Personality Inventory, the State-Trait Anxiety Inventory and the Fear Survey Schedule II. Analyses of variance confirmed that assertiveness relates inversely and highly significantly with measures of neuroticism, trait anxiety and interpersonal anxiety for both males and females.
Assertiveness training proved especially useful for clients who had anxiety about social situations. Therapists use different reciprocal inhibition techniques, utilizing assertiveness training. Reciprocal inhibition can defined as anxiety being inhibited by a feeling or response that is not compatible with the feeling of anxiety. Building up emotional competence is a way of learning to handle such behaviour.
Another aspect is learning to be assertive when feeling emotional. Assertiveness training involves learning a range of ways to handle any situation so that a person is able to choose a way which seems appropriate for them on each occasion. With respect to emotions, people are encouraged to notice and accept what they feel. They then have choices from handling the situation calmly through doing so and saying how they feel to letting the emotion out, all of which involve emotional competence.
People who have mastered the skill of assertiveness are able to greatly reduce the level of interpersonal conflict in their lives, thereby reducing a major source of stress.
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Emotional eating
Posted by on Tuesday, 14th April 2009
Emotional eating
Happy occasions calls for celebrations with food as our society is immersed in experimenting with gastronomic pleasures at any possible pretext. When pressure is mounting and one can not sleep we feel tired & exhausted, we become anxious this is the time we feel like eating those food that is available around Chips, cake, Ice cream, chocolate & what not.
Emotional eating can disrupt our well meaning efforts at weight loss & healthy eating. This leads to a tail spin of weight gaining, self recrimination and plummeting self confidence leading to further despair and over eating. We find that our longing for food especially unhealthy food happens to concur with the most vulnerable periods of our life. During emotional low points, we discover ourselves unconsciously seeking solace in food.
Most of unhealthy eating is motivated by something, we are not always aware of on a conscious level. It is most often the result of unconstructive thoughts, beliefs and attitudes that may be lurking just below our conscious awareness. Negative thinking is invariably the product of negative programming that we might have assimilated in childhood from our parents, teachers etc. We may have learnt early to soothe unpleasant feelings. Parents may have used food as a reward (a candy or chocolate) for good behavior. The positive sensations that were associated with the food involved may often need to be re experienced in adulthood whenever one is anxious or unhappy. Major life stressors such as death of a loved one, unemployment, ill health divorce, separation day to day set backs, unwelcome changes in normal routine can trigger emotions that encourage overeating.
Some foods have seemingly addictive qualities eg. Chocolate, coffee, sweets. Caffeine, chocolate release trace amounts of mood enhancing hormones. Eating such may make one to feel better momentarily. Food can also be a distraction. If one is concerned about an imminent event or rethinking of an earlier conflict, eating comfort foods may distract. These distractions may be short lived. While we eat our attention is on taste of the comfort food. Our attention goes back to our worries thinking once we have done our eating. And now we have to bear the burden of guilt about overeating.
It is very important to be armed with healthy diet plan and a well structured exercise programme that one can sustain. But these things alone can not bring real & lasting weight loss if our own subconscious mind and concealed thoughts are still destroying us.
Will power alone is an effective tool to address the problem of over eating. Our unconscious motivations are much more powerful and persistent than our conscious desires to eat healthy, exercise and so on. Get into the heart of the problem: Analyse and eliminate the toxic thinking pattern that created our bad habits. This requires a deeper understanding of the issues on hand and counseling by professionals.
Learn to recognise real hunger
Sometimes body is unable to distinguish true hunger from just stress or even thirst
When you think you are hungry drink a glass of water wait a while & see if you are still experiencing hunger
Identify the triggers that lead you to overeat
Maintain a food dairy Record the food intake, stress, correlated mood,
There is a definite association between the stress full event that you need to attend and your eating comfort food. There is a tendency to overeat at lunch when we had a show down with kids or the spouse.
Identify thoughts & feelings normally you experience before your gluttonous enterprise and those that justify your indulgences
Stock up healthier options If real hunger strikes you are not left frustrated. Avoid keeping those sinful temptations near at hand.
Exercise regularly Exercise acts as a stress reliever. Practice yoga, meditation & your favourite activities. Use it to get you through the tough times of using food as away out.
Get adequate sleep. Sleep deprivation may mislead the body signals of fatigue as hunger.
Mindful eating Take 10 minutes off for your meal will enable you to focus completely on the food & enjoy it rather than consuming hundreds of calories without actually registering it.
Find other outlets for your stress Take a walk, talk to a friend, and watch a movie, pursuing a hobby can substitute as distractions.
Learn to use the right resources
Upheavals are part of our life. Learn to deal with unpleasant feelings. If you intend to make meaningful changes in your diet, weight and life style, understand yourself a little better will go a long way in staying healthy.
See a therapist counselor. When all your efforts to gain control over your eating is not yielding progress see a psychological counselor / therapist.
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Self Management
Posted by on Tuesday, 7th April 2009
Self-management
There are 2 main types of illness: acute and chronic. An acute illness doesn't last very long. It goes away either on its own or in response to treatment, such as taking medicine or having surgery. Strep throat is an example of an acute illness. A chronic illness is ongoing. It affects your health over a long period of time--possibly your entire life. In many cases, there is no way to cure a chronic illness. Diabetes and high blood pressure are examples of chronic illnesses.
It's important to understand that your chronic illness is a serious problem. If you don't believe this, you'll never be motivated to manage your illness effectively. Managing your illness involves making lifestyle choices and using prescribed medical treatments to be as Health as possible. Unless you take care of your body, your chronic illness can cause more problems in the future.
When you have a chronic health problem, it's easy to feel overwhelmed and helpless, as if the illness has taken over your life. For example, you may need to take daily insulin injections, use an inhaler or monitor your blood pressure. However, you can take steps to control the negative effects of a chronic illness on your health. One method of taking control is called "self-management."
Self-management of chronic illness means that you take responsibility for doing what it takes to manage your illness effectively. It's important for you to be responsible for your health because the treatment recommendations your doctor makes won't do any good unless you follow them. He or she can't make decisions for you or make you change your behavior. Only you can do these things.
As part of self-management, it's also your responsibility to ask for the help you need to deal with your illness. This support can come from friends and family members, as well as from your doctor or a support group for people with your health problem.
Once you've decided to take an active role in managing your illness, you and your doctor can work together to set goals that will lead to better health. These goals will be part of an overall treatment plan.
Take an honest look at the unhealthy aspects of your lifestyle. Start with a particular behavior that you'd like to change in order to have better control of your illness. For example, you might decide that you don't eat enough vegetables, get enough exercise or take your medicines as your doctor tells you to.
One of the most important things to remember is that you can change your behavior. Even though your illness makes you feel helpless at times, if you work with your doctor to set goals and you take responsibility for following through with them, you can make changes that will lead to better health.
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Stress & Strains Bring it down
Posted by on Tuesday, 7th April 2009
Stress, fear, guilt, anxiety, anger & jealousy are negative emotions that seem to have a definite impact on our health. The mind & body interact to a larger extent than normally imagined. Prolonged stress can precipitate high cholesterol, diabetes, high blood pressures, constipation, chronic fatigue, immune disorders & host of other disease conditions. Behaviour is an expression of personality & is the activity of which a human being is capable Unmet needs create frustration that leads to increased anxiety. The anxiety is then released as behaviour.
Stress is the mental & physical condition that results from a perceived threat or demand that can not be dealt with readily. Stress is often associated with strain. Stress is your response to a force that upsets your equilibrium. Strain is the adverse effects of stress on an individual’s mind, body & actions.
Eustress:
The optimal amount & type of stress is called Eustress. A positive force in our lives that is the equivalent of finding excitement & challenge.
Distress:
The wrong amount & type of stress is referred to as distress. It often results in negative outcomes for the individual & the Organisation.
Individual Sources of Stress
Type A personality (behaviour)
Belief in external locus of control
Frustrated ambitions
Heavy family & personal demands
Dislike for rules & regulations
Limited tolerance for ambiguity
Negative life style factors
Individual methods of stress management
Identify your own stress signals
Eliminate or modify stressors
Improve your work habits
Get physical exercise
Every day methods of relaxation
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