Why we are No. 1 › 
"Doctor," says the man excitedly and dramatically holds up his heavily bandaged hands. "Will I be able to play the piano when these bandages come off?"
"I don't see why not," replies the doctor.
"That's funny," says the man. "I wasn't able to play it before."
A woman received a huge dental bill and phoned her dentist about it.
"I'm shocked!" she complained. "This is three times what you normally charge!"
"Yes, I know," said the dentist, "but you yelled so loud that you scared away two other patients and I had to make it back up somehow!"
A pipe burst in a doctor’s house. He called a plumber. The plumber arrived, unpacked his tools, did some mysterious plumber-type things for a while, and handed the doctor a bill for $600. The doctor exclaimed “This is ridiculous, I don’t even make this much money!”
The plumber replied, “neither did I when I was a doctor”.
A young woman went to her doctor complaining of pain.
"Where are you hurting?" asked the doctor."You have to help me,
I hurt all over", said the woman.
"What do you mean, all over?" asked the doctor, "be a little
more specific."
The woman touched her right knee with her index finger and yelled, "Ow,
that hurts."
Then she touched her left cheek and again yelled, "Ouch!
That hurts, too." Then she touched her right earlobe, "Ow, even THAT
hurts", she cried.
The doctor checked her thoughtfully for a moment and told her his diagnosis, "You have a broken finger."
A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with four young Mothers and their small children.
'You all have obsessions,' he observed.
To the first mother, Mary, he said, 'You are obsessed with eating. You've even named your daughter Candy.'
He turned to the second Mom,
Ann: 'Your obsession is with money.
Again, it manifests itself in your child's name, Penny.'
He turned to the third Mom,
Joyce: 'Your obsession is alcohol.
This too shows itself in your child's name, Brandy.'
At this point, the fourth mother, Kathy, quietly got up, took her little boy by the hand and whispered, 'Come on, Dick, we're leaving. Your brothers Peter and Willy are waiting for us.'
"Excuse me," he said, "have you lost something?"
"No," replied one of the doctors. "We're doing a heart transplant for an income-tax inspector and want to find a suitable stone."
"I know it," said the old gentleman. "I've really got only one complaint-my sex drive is too high. Got anything you can do for that, Doc?"
The doctor's mouth dropped open. "Your what?!" he gasped.
"My sex drive," said the old man. "It's too high, and I'd like to have you lower it if you can."
"Lower it?!" exclaimed the doctor, still unable to believe what the ninety-year old gentleman was saying. "Just what do you consider 'high'?"
"These days it seems like it's all in my head, Doc," said the old man, "and I'd like to have you lower it a couple of feet if you can."
Morris was removing some engine valves from a car on the lift when he spotted the famous heart surgeon Dr. Michael DeBakey, who was standing off to the side, waiting for the service manager. Morris, somewhat of a loud mouth, shouted across the garage, "Hey DeBakey...Is dat you? Come over here a minute."
The famous surgeon, a bit surprised, walked over to where Morris was working on a car. Morris in a loud voice, all could hear, said argumentatively, "So Mr. fancy doctor, look at this work. I also take valves out, grind 'em, put in new parts, and when I finish this baby will purr like a kitten. So how come you get the big bucks, when you and me are doing basically the same work?"
DeBakey, very embarrassed, walked away and said softly, to Morris, "Try doing your work with the engine running."
News & Highlights | Articles | Drug Magic | Community Weblog | Health Manager | Testimonials | Video Gallery | Medical Humour
Home | About 'India HeartBeat' | Awards | Contact Us | Terms of Use | Privacy Policy | Disclaimer | Advertise With Us | FAQs | Links | Quick Tour
