World's first medical networking and resource portal

Articles
Category : All
Medical Articles
Sep29
Building self confidence in children
Build self confidence & self-esteem in your children:
Simple ways to build your child’s self confidence and esteem for a happier child and better parent/child relationships.
All Parents want their children to be confident. Reassurance is something we are all aware of as a parental tool to build confidence, but there are other techniques you can utilize to help build your children’s confidence level. There are three simple, yet very important things to remember:
# 1. Praise.
Praise your children daily on a job well done, or a situation you observe them handling appropriately. Let them know that you approve, and why. When your youngest child colors a nice picture and is eager to show it to you, be sure to praise them. But, also be sure to pick out a singular aspect of the picture to comment on. This tells even the youngest of children that you are interested in what they have accomplished. Praise should go beyond your acknowledgement of the piece of art; it should say to the child that you have paid attention to the details in the picture as well. With this method of praising, and singling out particular reasons a child’s confidence can soar.
# 2. Reliability and Consistency.
Children of all ages not only want to know, but need to know that they can depend on their parents or guardians to be consistent. If you have set rules for a specific dinnertime, be consistent. Do not let the teenager (or any member) of your household upset a family routine or set rule due to a preference, such as eating at friend’s house at the last minute, or being late for dinner due to a game. While there will always be exceptions to this practice, if you are consistent in any given family situation or rule your children will know they can rely on you. Although this strategy might not be popular in your home at first, your family will eventually accept and expect certain rules. They will learn to respect your decisions through your dependability as well. Through the child’s confidence in you his own confidence grows.
# 3. Trust
Trust, as we all know is “earned”. You can and should start building trust between you and your children as early as toddler hood. Nothing builds confidence in humans like trust. Be sure to remain consistent (as mentioned above) when you allow your children to venture forth in new areas. It is not always easy for a parent to feel sure of their children’s abilities, albeit a new bike, or riding that bike to the neighborhood store. Start with small and realistic steps that are agreed upon and carried out. Each success is the essential ingredient to building trust between child and parent.
Building self esteem in kids:
A child’s self esteem is one of the single most important things you can help your child to develop. A good self esteem helps a child to be confident, try new things, get along well with other children, do well in school and countless other things. The way a child feels about himself affects nearly every aspect of his life and children look to adults to learn about who they are. If a child is ignored, for example, he will feel unimportant and will act out in either two ways, he will behave badly to attract attention to himself or he will fade into the woodwork, believing that he is not important enough for anyone to take notice of him. Both examples show evidence of low self esteem.
If you want to build good self esteem in your child, you need to start when they are babies. Children begin to learn about themselves from the very beginning and if you start out right, the rest will be easy. Talk to your baby and praise her often, even for tiny victories like learning to drink from a cup, give your baby applause and let her know she is spectacular. When children see that they can accomplish things it boosts their esteem, especially if it is noticed and praised by adults.
Ask your child for his opinion on things: “What do you think of that movie we just saw?” “What restaurant do you like best?” If you ask for their opinion, they will feel important and valuable. Include your child on family decisions and always consider his input. Don’t ever ridicule your child or tell him that his idea is silly, instead, even if the idea is a little silly, you could say, “That’s a different way of looking at it!” or “How creative!”
Basically, you should treat your child with the respect that you would give to any other person and give plenty of praise and acknowledgement of his status as an important part of the family. Your child will gain friends more easily when he feels comfortable with himself and you will have the peace of mind of knowing he feels good about himself.
Oh, how delicate the thing called self esteem can be! As adults, most of us have noticed that if we are told something often enough, we might end up believing it. If those things happen to be negative, it can be so destructive!
It is very damaging for a child to hear negative things about him or herself. Unfortunately, these things often come from avenues other than their peers or the school bully. Haven’t we overheard parents saying things like “take that outfit off, you look awful!” Or saying within hearing range of a child “Johnny will never make anything of himself. He won’t even sit down to do his homework.”
Too many people simply don’t stop to think of the impact their words might have on an impressionable child. If a young teen experiments with makeup, as an example, words to the effect of “wipe it off, you look like a tramp!” will damage for a very long time while saying “I think a lighter shade of that color would look even prettier” builds self esteem because their efforts have been noticed.
It is hard to determine at exactly what age a child starts “taking it all in” and building what is to be their own self image in their mind. Certainly by the time they’re old enough to understand what “if you keep being too lazy to understand that math work, you’ll never make anything of yourself in life” means. If they start believing that life will be a waste, it will be an uphill battle to build self esteem and the desire to succeed in life. It could make much difference to hear instead “I know you’re having trouble with that math work, Billy. Why don’t we sit down together and figure it out? You’re very smart and I know that between us, we can conquer it.”
How a child views himself relies greatly on those he trusts. The parents. There will be enough peer pressure and bullies over the years; and what the child hears from a parent needs to counteract negative things others will say. It only takes a few short breaths to say “I’m so proud of you!” or “You look great today!”
I recently had an interview with a delightful girl of 15. She had been having some problems in many areas of life. She finally mentioned that she was dating and had been for a while. I took the plunge and asked what led to that decision. She thought for a moment and answered, “Oh, that’s easy. My mother told me that no boy would ever want to go out with me.”
Make your children feel good about themselves. It takes little effort to voice the things you admire about a child. Something like “that shirt really brings out the color of your eyes beautifully” just might make the difference between a terrific day or lousy day for them. If there is a decision they can help with, it’s a perfect opportunity to voice something you admire. “Will you help me choose curtains for your room? You have great taste in things like that.”
Remember, a confident child is assured in love and patience. A confident child is a happy child.
Dr. Nahida M.Mulla.M.D.
Vice Principal,
Professor of Repertory & PG Guide.
HOD of Paediatric OPD.
A.M.Shaikh Homoeopathic Medical College, Hospital & PG Research centre, Nehru Nagar, Belgaum – 590010 (Karnataka)

Mobile: 09448814660.


Category (Child Health)  |   Views (11692)  |  User Rating
Rate It


Browse Archive