Breaking a child's bad habits
Breaking a child's bad habits can be challenging. Bad habits first arise in the elementary school ages. Find out ways to empower a child to let go of negative reactions to stress.
Bad habits form in the best of people. However, compulsive behaviors do not have to rule a life or prevent one from participating fully in social contexts.
In fact, most bad habits such as hair sucking, fidgeting, nail biting and even aggression appear around the ages of 5 to 7. Providing a child with the following interventions can enable a child to let go of negative behaviors. As a child forms more constructive behaviors in its stead, a child's self-esteem increases affording the child with an even greater benefit than what was originally deemed possible.
Researchers believe that the reason for the early onset to most bad habit forming is that around the ages of 5 through 7 a child recognizes that he/she is watched by peers and others in authoritative and assessing positions. A child will pick up a compulsive behavior such as hair sucking in order to release calming hormones through the blood stream. The behavior over time becomes associated with a calm and serene state.
Earlier in toddlerhood, a child might use what psychologists term as a transitional object to produce a similar effect. For instance, some toddlers have a favorite blanket or bear that is associated with comfort. Unfortunately, the child in elementary school knows that a transitional object is fodder for ridicule from one's peers. Hence, the elementary school child will substitute a comforting compulsive behavior for the transitional object in the hope that the behavior will not be noticed as easily as an object.
Be careful of ridiculing this desire. After all, how many of us adults would feel lost without our purses and wallets even when we are aware that the place or person we are seeing does not necessitate needing a purse or wallet or watch or...whatever? Yet, we find ourselves deriving similar comfort from the close proximity of these objects.
How then can a parent or teacher facilitate in the child the breaking of a bad habit?
Behaviorists warn that more important than how to facilitate the breaking of a habit is the how not to approach the negative behavior. For instance, the very reason a child forms a bad habit is that the child recognizes for the first time that his/her performance is being assessed and is, therefore, feeling conspicuous. Calling attention to the behavior in front of the child's peers is the worst thing a parent or teacher can do even if that is what instinctually arises. For instance, a teacher might abhor hair or thumb sucking; however, calling attention to the behavior in front of peers only reinforces the child's fears that he/she is being judged as falling short.
Instead, behaviorists ask that parents and teachers attempt to stop the bad habit. For example, calling attention to when the child is behaving positively is a great way of negating the child's negative thought processes or feeling judged or feeling conspicuous in a negative way.
In this manner, the child will begin to believe that he is being watched in a positive manner and will want to match all behaviors to this ideal. Eventually, the habit will no longer be needed, as the child will assume that his/her behaviors are looked upon in a positive manner, and therefore, the stress associated with feeling watched will disappear.
Moreover, child psychologists also warn against punishing bad habits. Punishment does not teach; instead, punishment stops a behavior in the short-term. meanwhile, the stress increases as the child is now handed two problems instead of the original one. For instance, the child feels stressed and the child has to let go of the behavior that provides the comfort. The use of punishment encourages sneaking of the bad habit. The child has not learned a new constructive behavior in its place. Punishment ends up hurting everyone, since noone feels at peace with the loss. Parents discover that the child still engages in the behavior and the child feels shamed for needing to do it.
Instead, behaviorists suggest that parents, teachers and the child work as allies in the habit breaking. Researchers have found that concrete objects (other than food) that the child enjoys are wonderful tools for habit breaking. However, rather than using these objects as rewards, the child should be given them at the start of each day. If the child does not engage in the negative behavior, he/she will be able to keep all of the objects. On the other hand, if the child engages in the habit (he/she will likely do so in the beginning), then the objects are eliminated one-by-one per the number of times the behavior occurs.
To illustrate, imagine that a child enjoys the sparkle of pennies or fancy looking pencils or buttons that when accrued can be turned in for a special movie viewing. Let us assume that the child bites nails at least 10 times during the day. A parent and teacher can agree that the child is able to start the day with 10 pennies, 10 buttons or 10 pencils at the beginning of the day. As this behavior change is new, the child engages in nail biting 3 times during the day. The child sees by the removal of the desired items how often the child engages or desires to engage in the behavior. This awareness renders the child more aware of the negative habit forcing the child to no longer feel numbed by it. This means that fewer feel good hormones are being released for the purpose of calming.
Moreover, the child also comes to grips with the idea that there are fewer of the chips with which he/she started encouraging a sense of personal disappointment. It should be clarified here that for one child 10 pennies is enough of a reward in itself. However, another child might want to turn in the 10 pennies or whatever token is used for a desired activity such as movie watching, internet use, game playing, etc. Each child is unique and needs to identify to the parents and/or teacher exactly what activity would mean a great deal to him/her. Parent and teacher can then identify to the child how many of the objects need to be accrued for the purpose of accessing the activity. Success of the exercise is determined by the progress of not engaging in the compulsive habit. Over time, parents, teachers and child should be able to see that the behaviors lessened in numbers each day of the experiment. The ultimate reward should come relatively soon after the first day that no negative behaviors were engaged.
Much praise should be given to the child for whatever progress is seen over time. Moreover, some habits are more easily dropped than others. For instance, a child who lives in two different houses is going to require more patience across settings than a child who lives in one. Adults are apt to experience this phenomenon as well. For instance, it is easier to diet at home than it is in a restaurant, office setting, in-laws, etc. The more places in which a child can learn these positive rewards, the more likely that stress will not resurface. So, while it may take longer to learn the new habit forming across settings, the positive behaviors are more likely to be permanently reinforced.
Ultimately, the child needs to see that he/she is encouraged by positive affirmations that he/she can and will surmount the negative habit. The bond that is formed when the child sees that he/she is part of a team is also a precious benefit that arises from working to eliminate the bad habit. Finally, sharing with the child any bad habits that the parent had in childhood also reinforces to the child that he/she is not alone. Isn't that the greatest lesson to be learned?

Dr. Nahida M.Mulla.M.D.
Vice Principal,
Professor of Repertory,
PG Guide,
HOD of Paediatric OPD.
A.M.Shaikh Homoeopathic Medical College, Hospital & PG Research Centre Belgaum – 590010 (Karnataka)

Mobile: 09448814660.