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Oct03
SEXAL DESIRE IN MALE & EMALE,METHODS OF CONTROL & ENHANCEMENT
Gradually as we are more educated by Media,internet,print media,films, social interactions, books,our day to day exposure in family,friends,society to sex from our childhood till Adult period or even we are middle aged or old,Sex either comes spontaneously or otherwise due to above reasons becomes a very need of our life like Anger,fear,Greediness,Love,Hunger,Thirst,Sex is important involuntary demand of our body.
But as becomes more informed on this matter either by family /society or our exposure to different above mentioned information channels,we start asking ourselves as we are competent enough to perform Sex properly and completely qualitively and quantitavely perfect.Mostly A person or his/her are experiencing it ,that is why if partner complains (which is mostly not seen in our Indian society) a person is ofeten left to himself whether he is performing normally or not and he becomes more questening whe he reads or sees videos /stories of betters performing persons who are doing sex for much time ,much frequently and in different postures and styles ,satisfying partner with more satisfications in form of penetrations, cries,return behaviours and demands.But most of such behavioural changes are wrong as Sex performance never means deep or forceful penetrations, excessive strong rigid,fatty and thickened tight Penis or Fatty full Labia with prominent Clitoris or with excessive discharge of Male or Female before or after Coitus or making partner more demanding sex or behaving in abnormal styles,fashions and positions.If these comes in our sexual behaviour these are excess above Normal Sexual behaviour,whether this is pervertion or not is questionable but not a certainly normal behaviour.A normal sex apathy cannot be said at all if these are absent,only need is of a normal sex desire at a proper time,place with a normal partner with or without a fore play and after desire a normal erection with normal penetration,coitus , normal holding,exercise for 1-5minutes and normal discharge inside or outside of few ML of fluid only.Iind arousal may come immediately or may not come for hours it never means less strength or apathy or a partner not interested for second after first in short time.But beside this there are some gray areas where a person in normal condition without under any influence of medicine,addiction or psycho social or organic body diseases never gets sexual desire even after proper stimulation by partner or by books / stories or video and remain apathetic to sex ,these persons whether Male or Female are called Apathetic to Sex or we can say Less desire/Drive/Interst for Sex is seen among them,Mostly it is assumed that Male suffers it most and it is reflected more as Male is Active Partner in Sex but it is not true a freezed Female can damp a normally (not Hyperactive) Male too or a stimulated Female can boost up a borderline or less performing Male too also,so Importance of Both Partners exist and one can supplement and correct other by Physical or Psychosocial stimulation,some time change of partner,time,place,orientation,external stimulation,visualisation and exhibition of Normal Sex and psychosocial support corrects this Low desire so well that in most of cases mere psychosocial correction and support yields very good result needing no medicines .
That is why this article will provide us correct knowledge of Less Desire/ Drive in sex. Mostly we assume that wife is a bit concerned, but it doesn?t bother you too much because she doesn?t speak about it or mentions it. However, deep within, you want to understand how and why you have transitioned from a once energetic young chap who could satisfy his newly-wedded wife in a matter of minutes to a man who no longer yearns to play the game. Deep inside, you also realize that the longer things go on like this, the farther apart you and your wife will drift. However, time and time again, you brush the issue under the carpet.Men often don?t express their personal problems, especially those involved with relationships or sexual in nature, and, therefore, find it difficult to seek help. This eventually leads to breakdown of their relationships and causes stress, which further aggravates the problem.
What is low sex drive?
A man with decreased libido thinks less about sex, loses interest in sexual fantasy and in sexual activity. Even sexual provocation by sights, words, or touches, may fail to induce interest. The man, however, often retains the capacity to have sex. Some men, despite having no desire for sex, continue to engage in sexual activity in order to satisfy their partners. In such cases, women may find the excitement completely lacking and might start feeling that their partners are no longer interested in them.Different men have different levels of libidos. This may range from one extreme, (such as wanting sex everyday) to the other extreme (having sex only once, twice or thrice a month/year). Men also have varying levels of satisfaction with their own sex drives. Therefore, there is no normal range of sexual activity for a coupleProblems may arise when the husband?s libido is persistently low, which causes the wife to remain sexually dissatisfied or unfulfilled or when the man seems to be dissatisfied with his own level of sex drive. Compatibility between spouses, including sexual compatibility and sex drive, is essential to maintain healthy sexual life. While libido may be decreased temporarily by conditions such as fatigue or anxiety, some men experience low levels of sexual desire all their lives.
Medical causes
Low libido may be caused by many different medical conditions. One of the most frequent is low levels of testosterone in the body. Apart from erectile dysfunction and premature ejaculation, which may induce anxiety and as a result, decrease your sexual drive, other unrelated conditions (such as Physical weakness Diabetes,TB,anemia, chronic Disease of Liver,Kidney, Lung,Neurological,spinal Gi Tract,cardiovascular disease, Genitourinary diseases pain due to Bony,Skeletal or Muscular diseases,Hormonal diseases) may also lower your libido.Try to rule out all physical or organic disease possibilities for your reduced sex drive. If you have any condition that might be associated with a low libido, see your doctor. You could have a medical condition that can be easily remedied or controlled. Treating the underlying medical condition may help in improving your sex drive.
Stress
Chronic stress can interfere with the hormones involved in the sexual response. This may result in low libido. Stress may be induced due to a variety of factors such as financial, personal, work?related and so on.if by counselling or psychosocial support or some time by psychiatrist using some medicines to cut depression,fear,mania oranger,anxiety, sleeplessness and once these are corrected a normal drives come,but in most of cases of absent such diseases Less Drive is mostly due to our thinking due to our experience or influence by some incidence or videos or exposures and as these are better explained and cleared Drive comes gradually.In Female,a very orthodox bringing a belief of severe pain,bleeding,tear or shock or loss of virginity or of pregnancy create so much nervousness as she never allows any penetration or sometime even any physical exposure or stimulation,They need support from senior members or friends in Family or Partner or some time psychological counselling or medicines.sometime presence of excessive pain due to infection in Genitourinary system causes them Freezed,a proper control of infection by medicines by a good gynaecologist or Urologist or Family Physician corrects it.In amle,except for presence of infections in genitilia or urinary system mostly corrected by good psychological counselling and support ,medicines have got a little role except to correct infection or psysical diseases. Reduce stress and manage it more effectively. This can range from employing stress-relieving techniques such as prayers, meditation and yoga to delegating more responsibilities to your colleagues and peers, depending upon the cause of stress. Alternatively, have sex to reduce stress! It is a well-known fact that sex is a wonderful stress-buster.
No time for sex
Commonly seen now a days! because of our urge to be more and more busy,to earn more and more and in this race we forget our selves,some basic need of our body as we start less eating,gradually it becomes our diet ,same way no time for sex in early days lead to no sex drive in future leading to complete loss of our social and familial life .Juggling multiple responsibilities of earning and providing to your family, parenting, keeping the household afloat and discharging social responsibilities?whew! You find yourself constantly busy. Having packed schedules daily drains your energy and leaves no time for sex. A busy schedule also means a busy mind ? and having a lot on your mind makes it difficult for you to relax and "get in the mood?. Sex, may, therefore, take a backseat and feel like just one more thing on your extremely-long "to-do list." All of these factors contribute to a lower libido.Remember that sex is an important part of an adult relationship. Just as we need to find time for ourselves, we also need to find time for our partners. Designate a night or two a week to spend quality, romantic time with your wife. You can make it more interesting by bringing something new to the bedroom occasionally.
Emotional causes

Men generally overlook emotional causes of decreased libido such as fear, anxiety and depression. When we are afraid, anxious or depressed, sex is usually the last thing on our minds. Anxiety, fear and depression may stem from a variety of causes, be they work dilemmas, relationship issues, family woes, or money problems, but emotional experiences greatly impact our sex drive. On the contrary, fear and anxiety may occur due to sex itself. This includes the fear of contracting an STD, of making your partner pregnant or of not being able to make her conceive.
All these emotional experiences dampen our sex drive and hamper our chances of having a pleasurable sexual experience. Improving your health and immunity are the primary factors that can ensure that you are able to tackle these emotional experiences. You can manage anxiety, fear and depression by meditating, doing yoga, talking to friends or playing with your kids. When your mind is healthy, there are fewer chances of problems intruding into your bedroom. However, if you feel that these emotional experiences are overwhelming you and you cannot cope with them, seek professional help.
Boredom
After being married for few years, some couples can hardly find any sexual excitement left in their lives. You might also lose interest if your mate doesn?t take care of her looks, body and behavior.
Experiment! Bring back the excitement by trying out stuff that you had been fantasizing about for some time. Gift your wife sexy dresses, which will help bring in some spontaneity to the experience. Talk to your partner about her idea of improving the sexual relationship.

Relationship issues
Having relationship issues with your partner such as unresolved conflicts, resentment or unexpressed anger can dampen your sexual desire. You need to deal with relationship issues with your partner if you want to enjoy sex again.
Communicate. Identify the problem and try to find the solution together before issues explode into huge conflicts. If talking to each other doesn't work, seek help from a therapist.

Body Image
Some people feel unhappy about their bodies and are shy to expose them to their partners. Though, we all love and hate some aspects of our bodies, the key here is to learn to be happy with what you have and feel sexy about it.We can do away with the negative feelings by thinking about the positive aspects that you have. Even if you are overweight, you can try out ways to feel sexy by enhancing your other valuable body aspects. If you are obese, try to shed some weight by seeking professional help.
Aging
With age, men produce less testosterone, which reduces their sex drive. Other concomitant factors that may play a role in reduced libidos are age-associated fear, anxiety, and depression. Testosterone levels may be increased by taking testosterone supplements, but this should be subsequent to consultation with your doctor. Additionally, the dosage of testosterone must be carefully monitored, as high levels of this Hormone can cause depression or other side effects like prostatic or testicular cancers. Long-term safety of testosterone supplements, especially in elderly men, has also not been established. Other temporary alternatives can be the use of Viagra (Sildenafil citrate).But it corrects only erectile dysfunction not libido so it is not very useul here works or work as psycological boosting agent However, prior to initiating any medicine to boost your sex drive, it?s essential to consult your doctor.
Sexual Abuse
If you have been a victim of sexual abuse, you may find it difficult to have normal physical relations. By taking your own time to heal, being patient and getting help of friends and counselors, you can overcome this past issue and resume a normal and healthy sex life. The key here is not to pressurize yourself or get pressured from others to have sex until you are completely healed and ready.
Medication
Some common medicines such as those for high blood pressure, depression, or relieving anxiety can reduce sex drive. Depression can also lower your sex drive and so can the medicines you take to relieve it. Additionally, antidepressants can cause sexual dysfunction, such as delay in orgasm, inability to achieve orgasm or erection or ejaculation. Any of these conditions can have an adverse affect on your level of desire. Before taking any new medicine, talk to your doctor about the possible side effects on sexual activity. Also, make a list of all the medicines that you take and get to know about their side-effects. Talk to your doctor and seek alternatives to the medicines which seem to be the cause of low sex drive or sexual dysfunction. Other options may include taking drug holidays, reducing the dosage or taking antidotes. Some people may benefit from taking supplements such as Gingko biloba or switching to a different medicine. The most important thing to remember here is that you should not stop taking any medicine without first talking to your doctor.
The best approach to this problem is to try and identify the cause of low sex drive .Once we are able to do so, try to eliminate the cause or seek professional help. Remember, putting in the effort and resolving problems now will go a long way in living a sexually-fulfilling and blissful life! But most of time our belief in Less Drive/Desire is not correct as either our mental level has raises or we are under above mentioned physical or psychosocial stress and oce we get corrected it,normal desire comes but it is most true that a normal Sex must be perfomed by partners at regular interval as it increases our cohesiveness and adherance to each other and normally shapes our family and society. Neither we should be overactive or more demanding destroying our social fabrics nor we should be so much busy or shameful of performing Sex inspite of our time, space,place, age,religion,enviornment or any other social factor.
DR.D.R.NAKIPURIA
SILIGURI
09434143550
NACO TRAINED EXPERT ON HIV,SEX & VENERAL DISEASES


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