SEX PERFORMANCE FAILURE IN MALE OR IMPOTENCE-TYPE & REMEDIES
SEX performance failure is a matter of great concern for A male person as he thinks himself as active partner and so wants always to be best strong sustained performer in Sex which is considered as sign or exhibition of his musculanity or his existence in as boss in Male dominant society,if this sexperformance is disturbed or fails he starts thinking that every thing has been lost .This Sex performance is always so much in mind of a common person that many starts assuming as some defect in it although they are normal because there is always a will to achieve perfection and superiority in it and such idea becomes more If they are exposed to sexual stimulation through talk,stories or video shows where Sex is depicted as most form of pleasure and enjoyment.
For this defective Sex performance, a word IMPOTENT has been coined on broad base where a man cannot perform sex with a partner .It simple meaning is a failure, weakness inability lack of interest in Sex performance. A man may start feeling that he is impotent but actually he is normal or may start that he has lost dignity, masculinity, wholeness and every thing of his life submitting himself to extreme psychosocial insult. But broadly Impotence in man means that even after proper stimulation(what to talk of normal self stimulation as self stimulation is common in adult male and male unlike female becomes stimulated or erection of penis occurs on mild exciting exposures as remembering,talking,watching listening of opposite partner or her activities dress,eye contact,voluntary or involuntary touch of normal body part,sexual organs or sexual act of another) stimulated by talking exhibition,touch or sexual excitation by opposite partner or sexual activities through book,videos,internet or mms etc man does not achieve proper erection or straightening,thickening ,hardening and tightening of Penis with or wthout secretion of small seminal fluid .But There are many degrees of erectile difficulties too. 1.Some men may be able to achieve an erection, but are not able to maintain it. 2.others become erect, but not extremely rigid. 3. Many others only have problems when they are with a new partner or with a long-time partner. And in last 4., there are those who cannot achieve an erection at all even after stimulation by an opposite sex partner to the extent of heating and touching G-spots. Although these problems has been categorises as stated above but still in most of them psychosocial disturbance remains the core factor.
Person may be suffering from a physical or emotional problem (or both) for which there are definite solutions. If problem is of an emotional nature, the following tips may help. If erectile problem arises from a medical condition, there are now many new medicines, surgeries and therapies that can help restore sexual health. What ever the nature of problem may be,but rule of its correction lies in the fact that almost every man has difficulties with erection at some time in his life and everybody feels some time in himself at least that he suffers from erectile dysfunction(ED). Therefore affected person is not abnormal only , nor he is alone affected by this non performance of Sex.There is no need to suffer in silence. Don't let once embarrassed in alone or silence and let this embrassment of self realisation of less or non-performance or less or no erection keep one from sexual health and happiness.Following type of disturbances of erectile dysfuctions are seen.
1.Low Performance Anxiety :It's not unusual for a man to have an occasional episode of impotence in form of less performance , after drinking alcohol or after a particularly stressful day. However, if he places too much emphasis on the incident and harbors fear that it may happen again, the anxiety itself may become a cause of erectile difficulties. Some men engage in thinking that distracts them or take away from their sexual performance. One should try to take over such low performance incidence and relieve the anxiety about having to get an erection.For such anxiety if no heed is paid to it or a good stimulation is kept such beliefs goes away and man resume strength again.
2.Stereo type Performance: One problem in people's sex lives is that many perform it through certain ruts and routines and they don't have much novelty. For example they always have sex at 11:30 at night with the lights off, with the same foreplay, and so on. Their sex lives are relatively invariant. Soon,their partner becomes about as exciting to them as a flounder. They can change their sex lives by incorporating some variety- go to another place or a different setting. Vary the routine. Buy wife some new night dresses or change sleeping room ,decorate with flowers,perfumes music or change stye of four play or coitus . one shoul spice up sex life.
3.Stress and Strain: Stress and Strain arising either from performance anxiety or from other life situations, can also be a culprit in erectile problems. Relaxation exercises are helpful. Deep breathe or progressive muscle relaxing, where the person consciously tenses and relaxes each part of the body in sequence. In and of itself, as a treatment for impotence, relaxation is not effective but it may be a good first step for someone trying to improve their own functioning.
4.Tension with partner: Marital or relationship difficulties are notorious contributors to sexual problems. Anger, resentment, and hurt feelings often spill into the couple's sex life, turning the bedroom into a battlefield. This situation is especially likely to develop if partners are non communicative ,communication of personal or familial matters and forgetting them during performance is the key for good sexual performance and isappearance of this Impotence.Familial tension,children problems or any other social disturbances or a bad environment will spoil a good Sex completely labelling it charge on male partner mostly as Impotence.
5.Walk,talk and Eat Sex: During Sex it is a rule that one should walk or prepares one self and partner in the way that Sex is only focus in mind.all narrations should be on this topic to increase libido and bring good orgasm and once achieved than one should enjoy in the way as Sex has been served as food. and only r expression of each other sex difficulties ,demanding sex or informing one’s failure or goodness clearly and methodology to get it corrected by showing action as to cover partner’s fault will bring forth good performance.
6.Be ware of intoxication:Now a days Alcohol intake is rampant in society and many think that after intoxication with Alcohol (both Partners) stimulat sex and performance but it is untrue as Alcohol causes uncoordination and synerigism leading to less performance.Similiary smoking,drugs or medicines neither can arouse or contemplate sex .so always avoid them before sex.Bear bars,dancing girls,nudity,aphrodisiac medicines and alluring music and robust lightening etc may bring orgasm but have got no relation with better performance as man gets easy and early excitement so until very experienced usually not able to sustain erection for long time and a second arousal and action is mandatory to satisfy the partner.Aphordisiac medicines and intake of Hasis or cocaine or Ganza or any opoid is habit forming and durg dendance can destroy life completely so never bring it in Sex which can be conducted normally between two willing partner in a lucid environment,time and place.
7.Positivity is the rule:So many fearful history/story or activity or imprint of past experience may surround a new comer or less performer or person suffering from some diseases or in older age as they cannot perform or make partner irritated,please donot think negative,please fullfil good hope aspiration and confidence with very positivity in mind ,a self determined confident can break any stone.many person think that they are not performer and many partner feel that they are not good looking or physique or age wise difference or married un married status to stimulate another partner or of not that status by education,position or economically to suit the partner but this doesnot have any place in Sex performance.As you meet with partner with zeal and positive energy and once sex is started ,sex itself is so inductive that such feelings goes away once orgasm is aroused by touching G spots or Clitors or by shacking and masturbating penis every thing is forgotten and a good performance comes so be remain positive,Every body some time feels that he is impotent as has either got slight erection with immediate discharge or late erection with no discharge or for female pain ,bleeding and loss of virginity or exposure of bad name and reputation all want to inhibit sex but good and strong determination overtake it immediately.
8.Win partner’s confidence: as stated in my article “Sex in recent perspective and modern definition”Partner is very important,now a days both partners are called active in SEX.a lazy partner can damage an active sex and a superactive cooperative partner cam make a sluggish boring sex into a dynamic charming sex.interaction,coordination,co-operation,harmony and synerigm is the backbone of good Sex.so always inuce partner bring eachother by stimulation Gspot of each other and start Sex with full orgasm and then perform all 04 stages of Sex taking and giving pleasure giving time to sex,simple rapid erction,penetration and ejaculation is a dry sex as we take food in hurry without any spice and taste to calm hunger but a good cuisine by a good cook with good presentation and slowly eating taking time provides us really interest pleasure and satisfication of food.
9.Read sex and know Sex: sex is so much important method of mental and physical relaxation in the life of an individual and its important in familial life is very strong as it brig better adhesion,cohesion,understanding,bondage liking and love that it canot be taken as a very light just to perform activities as we have modernised and cultured are food taking habit ,same way good,better and best Sex is very important so to know about Sex is mandatory ,how to bring good arousal or orgasm,increase intimacy and cooperation in performance and then sustaining the act.Now a days many formulas,medicines,mantras and tabeez and therapy are sold by socalled sex specialist to enlarge Penis size(most of the time Penis size is normal as first 2 inch of Vagina is only sensitive sexually for penetration so a normal 4-6 inch of Penis is enough for good Sex and no medicine can enlarge the penis except Sidlefinal(vigra) or tadalafil help some patients really suffering from Erectile Dysfunction(ED) in male patients only or testosterone only in castrated or otherwise Addison or any other hormnone disease) or to bring sex arousal,desire or bring Orgasmor increase sustainability ,to icrease power and duration of strokes and delayed ejaculations etc,But most of them are bogus ,only good practise under guidance of expert counselling bring forth good result,understand that sexual organs are as good parts of Body as other parts any abnormal behaviour with them as sex with children or mentally retarded persons may cause much harm bleeding,tear etc leading to death of child.similiarly to sex with animals or introducing different electrical devices and toy ,stimulation by binding with chains ,rods etc is unwanted and regarded as perversion and abnormal sex.
10.Good advise and expert counselling:Sex is so less discussed and expressed in personal life that a affected person remain under quota of days and years under depression and anxiety leading to irreversible stage of Impotence.if a good advise is sought such fear and apprehension goes immediately and rejuvenate the person.some time person is suffering from infections of genitilia as in Female and it remains cause of pain and bleeding during Sex which makes many female a freezed female or male is suffering from phimosis,hypospadius or epispadius or infection of glans or herpes or other infection of genitilia or tight and short frenulum or hydrocoele,spermatocoele,varicocoele or hernia or systemic disease of metabolic disorder as diabetes or protein loosing enteropathy or any systemic cardiovascular or renal or hepatic or hormonal abnormality that sex will remain low until root cause is treated and corrected,.In our country in middle aged person most of doctors donot ask about sex performance nor patient states it but diabete mellitus do affect sex performance too and actual attention should be paid to it ,same after menopause most female donot like to state any thing about sexual life but here Sex is not important to maintain good bondage and relations by relaxation but also helps us to burn good amount of calorie.
Therefore,IMPOTENCE is not necessarily a sex performance failure but lack of better understanding coordination and cooperation between partners because of their covered and hidden beliefs and lack of knowledge of Sex leading to somany psychological disturbance.
Dr.d.r.nakipuria

** author is a HIV & Sex Specialist
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http://drnakipuria.jivisha.com