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Student: Did you; as a result; turn to spiritualism and NAMASMARAN?
Teacher: Actually; during this learning process itself; I was never cut off from religion, spiritualism, occultism, mysticism etc. I was eclectic. I was always enthusiastic to know and accept, anything; globally benevolent and internally satisfying.
Student: What merit did you find in spiritualism?
Teacher: There was something magnanimous and noble in the religious and spiritual traditions that attracted me and commanded my respect and even reverence. I did not know what it was, but there was something that haunted me! It could be; the perspective of universal unity, utmost noble heartedness, total selflessness, unquestionable honesty, exemplary simplicity, adorable kindness or something extraordinary linked God i.e. true self!
Student: What were the shortcomings?
Teacher: I thought the religion and spiritualism were alien from the socioeconomic and political mainstream. Various cults, traditions, creeds and religious practices appeared marginalized and merely survived on donations. I thought they had become the caricatures of themselves; even though; in some instances at least; they did some appreciable charitable work.
I found that spiritualism that I came across; provided temporary psychological solace, without much change in the objective conditions, in which a person lived.
In short I could not be satisfied by materialistic approach as well as the religious and spiritual traditions I came across. I could not find a way of simultaneous inner as well as outer; and individual as well as global blossoming.
Student: That means; you were not quite satisfied with the then prevalent materialism as well as spiritualism!
Teacher: I felt that I had yet to meet the “self” of atheists and “God” of theists! Actually I could, though faintly; perceive the fact that; what the atheists would call self, was the same, which was revered by the theists as God. This was why I could neither dislike atheist tradition; nor the theist tradition.
Student: But this must have kept you away from both traditions!
Teacher: I was not away from them, but I was not a conformist part of them.
I tried to pursue the whisper of my deep instincts, which cherished the essence of both traditions as and in the form I came across, but was not in perfect conformity with any of them.

I had a distinct feeling that; innate aspirations of all the doctrines I came across; were those of global welfare and innate fulfillment. They were in complete agreement. But I was not able to identify the link connecting them. Hence intellectually as well as emotionally; I was restless. I had a lot to learn. I had to expand my perspective. I had to expand my intellectual as well as emotional horizons. I was falling short. Hence I kept on reading and experimenting. But I did not find any specific solution. I merely came to a provisional conclusion that there was a need to raise the mass consciousness, trigger mass awakening; and initiate or boost the fight against injustice in every field. I began to write and share my restlessness, my criticism, my enthusiasm and my dreams.

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